Semester 13A

Another semester down. My family and I are still residing in Spanish Fork. When the rug was pulled out from underneath us my parents found a cute little house for us and have been paying for it since. I'm still not working, despite my attempts to apply to every internship and Graphic Design opportunity to come along (that didn't interfere with my homework). This is the second semester we've been there. With any luck, it'll be the last.

Donna is a big city girl. After the 8 years of living in Salt Lake City, I've realized that I'm a big city guy. There isn't any descrimination, judging, or condemning. People in SLC are too concerned about themselves to worry about the guy next door or the person across the street. Also, there is no sense in trying to judge the weirdo across the street because there are a dozen or so even worse, or differently, just a block away. So, while my differences may be blown out of proportion in SF, they are greatly diminished in SLC. People don't care and I love that.

In SF I've also learned, sadly, that there is a HUGE feeling of 'competition.' I first came to that realization when people in our ward were reacting so strongly, and pridefully I might add, to the local high school's current state championship win. They even went as far as to quickly begin to highlight past wins/victories, and competitions. Which is an indication of their very long memories (and short ability to forgive, as it were).

Unfortunately, this spirit of 'competition' filters down into other aspects of the people's lives. IE: how many kids a family has, what kind of car they drive, what kind of job they have. It's the whole concept of 'keeping up with the Jones',' which I absolutely hate. While people are judging themselves with the 'who' we are now, they fail to take into account the 'who' we used to be. I am adamantly against the whole 'competition' concept to begin with but if we must play the stupid game, these people fail to see that we actually ARE winning, compared to where we came from. They fail to see that we actually ARE winning.
In the end, my wife and our boy is the best thing happening in my life right now.

Because they love me, they try to help us to increase our situation. They offer all kinds of potential opportunities to 'help us win;' improve our situation. However, without truly knowing what our needs, goals, wants, or desires are they begin to throw all kinds of advice at us like missiles intended to paralyze. I've been told to apply as a gas station attendant, a warehouse-shelf stocker, and a painter that maxed at $8 an hour. All of these potential opportunities, which they fail to see, would: 1. not only impede our intended progress, but also 2. tie us down to SF and trap us there indefinately.
I am (gratefully) in my last year of school. Thank heavens, literally. In order for me to graduate I require a Graphic Design internship. This I would be unable to do if I am spending 8 hours a day in such a job. I would also not be able to get my homework done.

Each of these suggestions would also do more harm that good. I have horrible back and neck problems and am in constant pain on a regular basis. We are currently relying on food stamps. An $8 an hour job would do nothing to pay the bills but it would be enough to qualify to loose our food stamps. Both sets of parents would still have to help us out financially.
Also, I am not going to school for 4 years to try and create a better life for us just so that I can take two steps backwards. We are trying to move 'forward,' not backwards.
With this in mind, we are under the impression that those Spanish Fork individuals are trying to thwart our progress. Whether or not this is true we don't know. But the logic behind their suggestions only comes to one conclusion in our minds.
Their philosophy is 'get any job now and apply for a better job tomorrow.' They give these suggestions without thinking of our time restraints. They don't understand exactly how much homework my school requires. So, I have a choice with a full time job: come home and do homework or search for jobs. I can't do both.
So the conclusion that we come to is that with these suggestions the good folks of Spanish Fork are setting us up for failure. Why? So that in the spirit of 'competition' they continue to win. They would still be better. They can still offer poor advice. They can still keep us down.

I hope I am wrong. I hope that in their ignorance, they are stabbing blindly in the dark for any opportunity, hoping it will help. However, my thinking is if they want to help, why don't they ask what our needs, goals, and desires are? Assuming takes less energy, I suppose.

Sadly, this is an example of their suggested help. In fact, it's the straw that broke the camel's back. It's situations like this one where my wife and I looked at each other and said, "We're done." We then knew it was time to move back to SLC.
One of the good folks of SF recommended a friend who worked for the state, who had a program available that worked with Art Institute students in the past. This government program has been known to pay for school, find jobs for them, and even pay for their houses. Excited, my wife and I gave them a call only to find that the program in question was Vocational Rehabilitation. They deal with handicapped and disabled individuals.
My wife and I were livid. Did these persons of question truly believe me to be disabled? Did they think me to have no more successful potential than a handicapped individual? Our trust in their belief in me plummeted through the floor and I did everything in my power to keep my wife from going ballistic.
We knew we had to confront the issue, but the next day was Easter and we didn't want to ruin the holiday's festivities. We decided to not bring it up, let things play, and see how it played out. During the time of our lunch it came up in conversation. I simply said that I didn't qualify because I wasn't disabled. The reply we got indicated that they didn't expect that to happen. I asked if they knew what their friend did for a living and they said, 'yes.'
So the hope lies in their ignorance. It's still a better frame of mind than their deliberate intention to hold us down.

Here's the other straw that broke the camel's back. With the completion of this past semester, and my Portfolio Preparation class, I immediately attacked the job market by applying to 11 new jobs. I also responded to 2 past places I applied to that responded back. I didn't get to respond to them because of Finals so it was good to respond back to them.
Within 15 minutes of turning off the computer one of these locations called, asking for an interview. I set up a time 2 days later and they said they'd send an email with instructions.
The next night I checked for the email with no results. I even checked my spam folder-nothing. I checked other email accounts, just to make sure I didn't give them the wrong address. Still nothing.
So, I went to try to find this place myself. All I had to go off of was the one word I recalled over the phone, "Medical." From this I found the only email address I'd sent out with the word "medical" in it. I returned to the job board, trying to find the original job posting but it had been removed.
So I did a search to find they were in Salt Lake City. In time I finally found the location. I got the directions, printed them out, and prepared to go to the interview.
The next day I checked my email addresses again. Still no email. From there I drove an hour and a half into SLC. The directions said it would take 45 minutes but I got lost, following the directions incorrectly. Gratefully, I left with plenty of time. I finally stopped to ask for directions and from there was able to find the place.
I was only 7 minutes late when I found the place. It had high security so I couldn't even enter the building. They had an intercom system which was not working so I had a full conversation with the lady by yelling at each other through the glass. To make a long story short, the lady said the man in charge was busy and wanted to reschedule. I told her I didn't have any contact information since I never got an email. She popped the door open for half a second so that she could launch a business card at me.
By the time I finished my additional business in SLC (my wife's dad and I went to get new tires for the car) it was rush hour. So I hung around at her parent's house for an hour and a half before leaving for home.
My whole day was ruined. I made the whole trip for nothing. They never even bothered to call, let alone send an email like they said they would, to let me know I had to reschedule. My thought was, if they are going to do that to a potential employee how do they treat their customers? I knew from then I didn't want to work for them anyways.
As I explained this to my mom, I mentioned that if I did still live in SLC then it wouldn't be a problem: it's only 15 minutes (give or take) from one side of the valley to the other. But as it stands, I felt like a fish our of water. I'm struggling to get a Graphic Design internship and job but all the best companies and opportunites are in Salt Lake City.
From there, my mom agreed it was time for us to return back to the place we both call home.